Posts tagged “exhausted

{A Day in The Life} Getting back to my roots…

I don’t even know how to start a post like this.  So I guess I better just do my best and see how it goes.

When I bought my first camera, I am almost positive that it was WEEKS before I took my first photograph of a person.  I walked around my small home on Lynn Ave. every chance I had, and took photos of things that people wouldn’t even think to look for.

I took pictures of the rings in an old tree stump in our backyard.

I would lay on the grass and get as close as I could to our pansies to capture what it would be like to look at the world from the height of a pansy.

I know it probably doesn’t seem that important to you reading this, but I was looking for beauty in anything at this point.  ANYTHING.

I had just lost my Dad and my brother and had a completely different perspective looking at the world all of a sudden.  I felt like someone had taken a 2×4 and slammed me in the head as hard as they could, leaving me alone, stunned and hurting – and knowing that I had to figure out how to get my ass up on my own.

Eight years later (tomorrow), to see how far I have come since owning my first camera and finding the beauty in the smallest things, I feel an incredible sense of strength, but I still feel lost.

I have a family that I love with all I have.  I have a husband who is my best friend, and sometimes the only person that I seem to have nowadays that knows what I am going through.  I have a home that makes me feel whole when I need it most.  But you know what?  I still feel lost.

I took a passion (photography) and turned it into something I never would have imagined.  Owning my own business and trying my best to help support my family is sometimes the most rewarding yet exhausting venture I have ever taken on.  But do you know what I miss?

I miss capturing the little things.
I miss the dew on a blade of grass.
I miss capturing a bumble-bee covered in pollen.
I miss taking a photo of the inside of a tulip.
I miss the beauty of a mountain range, and how it can make you feel so small.

I miss doing what I used to do.

So I guess what I’m trying to say, is that from here on out, this blog is going to look a lot different.  This is still a place for my clients to come and sneak a peek at their latest session, and a place for people to come and get to know me a little better.  But also, it is going to be an outlet and way for me to try and focus on what really brought me to photography in the first place.

The little things.